Whole30 Day 2

So what happened today? Nothing whole30 related really. Is that disappointing? I don’t know. I went to see my lovely friend and daughter and we had coffee. I suppose it was different because there was no wine involved but it is pretty normal not to drink wine at lunchtime. I do it Monday to Friday after all, and it is a Tuesday.

I had breakfast, which again was pretty normal. It was mushrooms, peppers and eggs. I packed my lunch, again very normal for a Tuesday. Then again, what was slightly different was that I didn’t actually eat it until about five o clock. Why? Well I had coffee and then I was making my way to the gym and I could really find anywhere to sit and enjoy my lunch, and if I am going to be eating a restricted diet then I am going to fucking enjoy it when I do eat. So I had an apple and some almonds and went to the gym. Again, boring as all it can be. Where is the emotional trauma? Where is the feeling shit? Where is the panic about meal prepping? So far I am missing out. My biggest trauma is that my sparkling water with lime is not a gin and tonic. And that really isn’t that big a deal…well not today. It might be come Friday night..Saturday… But it’s still Tuesday so that is a long way off.

In case you are interested and haven’t yet fallen asleep, lunch was chicken salad with sweet potato and some of that home made mayo, with smoked paprika. It was delicious. Dinner is prawn and coconut curry. I am obsessed with coconut products right now. Mainly because there are a lot of coconut products I can eat on this diet.

So, now I just need to find something to keep me occupied this evening. Again, nothing new. I am watching Lucifer because it has Tom Ellis in it. And you know…he’s hot.


Whole 30 has begun…

Today is day 1. I can see that on the timeline I have stuck to the fridge. Next to it I need to stick a massive sign saying NO! No grains, no dairy, no soy, no legumes, no alcohol. No going out. I don’t need alcohol to have fun when I go out but (ok so I do a little bit)…I won’t be able to eat anything and I won’t be able to drink anything either. Not even a cheeky diet coke, or soda and lime (except if they have fresh lime). So I won’t be going out I don’t think, unless it is to work or to the gym or to frolic in the park…perhaps that won’t be so bad.

I went to the supermarket today to stock up on things I am allowed to eat such as meat and vegetables and eggs. A LOT of eggs. I made compliant mayonnaise which is really rather good. It seems weird I can eat mayonnaise as I really see it as a luxurious treat, but maybe that is a good thing. I can still have treats.

It might be because I am not at work, but I have spent the entire day thinking about food. I spend a lot of my time thinking about food anyway, but today my thought process looks something like this:

  • food
  • food food
  • not allowed that food
  • food
  • make food
  • eat food
  • food
  • read detective novel
  • I wonder what the detective eats
  • food
  • food
  • he’s going for lunch at the Savoy! I wonder what food they serve there. I bet he has wine. Fucker.
  • food

Ad nauseum. I hope this isn’t going to be me for 30 days but I suspect it will be. I won’t have anything else to think about. Perhaps I should take up a new hobby. That doesn’t involve food or wine. Suggestions please.

Lots of people seem to find the food prep difficult. Now I don’t have kids so that’s one huge business factor out of the equation, and while I do have to take into account someone who isn’t following the plan foodwise, he will eat compliant meals quite happily, so no preparing multiple numbers of meals. But I cook from scratch all the time. I genuinely didn’t realise that people could find it that hard. Having said that, I’ll probably have a melt down on day 4 when I have to slice up another avocado and I discover that despite the advertising, this fucking avocado is NOT PERFECTLY RIPE.

Label checking is tedious. Why does everything have sugar or milk in it. Seriously. Who puts milk in baba ghanoush? Waitrose does fyi.

Plus I have a headache. And a cough.

And ramble-itis

My chicken is poached. Now I am going to make pork and chorizo chilli, which doesn’t sound too restricted to me. Although it would be great with a glass of red…


Whole30 approaches…

It is getting closer. I have read a lot about how bad I am going to feel next week: headaches, nausea, desperately tired…but I am still going to do it. I want to see what happens when I change the way I treat my body. Some of the changes will be insignificant. I am not going to miss milk and sugar in my coffee – this seems a BIG BIG thing for some people. But I will miss wine. Oh god I will miss wine. And gin…

So to make the transition less painful I am gathering as many compliant recipes as I can, and seeing if I enjoy them. Tonight I made pork and smoked paprika burgers with red pepper and radish salsa. As I won’t be doing anything else during this whole30 lark, I might as well discover new recipes. And blog…I’ll be blogging about the food I am eating and how I am feeling. And the work outs I am doing. Wow! I am boring myself. I’ll have to find some other stuff to do…

So tonight…red pepper and radish salsa. Super simple, super low calorie, super low carb and totally whole30 compliant.


  • 10 radishes (approx.)
  • 20 baby plum tomatoes (approx.)
  • 3/4 red pepper
  • 1-2 red chillis
  • Salt to taste
  • Juice 1/2 lime


Chop up the radishes, tomatoes, pepper and chilli. Place in a bowl. Add the amount of salt that you like. Squeeze over the lime juice. Chill for a little while. Serve.



Prawns with pakchoi and other greens

Good afternoon! After a very boring morning of having to be an adult and go to the bank and clean the flat and put washing in and do the washing up and ..it bored me doing it, so why am I writing about it?

Anyway, I did nip into Waitrose as I was one stop away and picked up some fresh chillis, mint, and pak choi. I went for romansco but there was NONE! However, with a moment of self awareness I realised I would probably look like a bit of a middle class wanker if I lost the place because there wasn’t a fancypants veg that can’t decide if it is a cauliflower or a broccoli.

So I picked up pakchoi instead. A suitably middle class replacement. You can get it in morrisons but I haven’t seen it in Aldi yet. So tonight I am going to treat myself to the following dish. It’s also another whole30 experiment.


150g of prawns

Fresh chillis (use however many you need for your preferred heat level)

Garlic (to your taste)

Ginger (about an inch)

I lime (rind and juice)

Pak choi (sliced in half)


Green beans

Use enough veg so you will be full.


Add coconut oil to a large pan. Add prawns, chilli, garlic ginger and lime. Fry about until prawns are cooked through if they are raw (or hot, if you use ready cooked).

Put to one side.

Put the pak choi in the pan, and surround them with the asparagus.

I like the steam my green beans a little before adding them to the pan, but it is up to you. Then cook all the veg for about 5 minutes until tender.

Put the cooked veg on a plate. Surround with prawns.


Preparing to go Whole30: WTF am I doing?

Ok. Since yesterday I have read more about the Whole30 plan. It has raised some questions.

  • You are allowed paleo wraps but not paleo bread?
  • Sometimes ‘we just have to draw the line’?
  • You can make whole30 mayo but not whole30 coffee creamer? Actually I don’t give a fuck about this one because I drink my coffee black anyway, but I do wonder why.
  • You can eat canola oil at a restaurant but not at home, but one slip in another area means you have to start again…day 1..right back there…
  • Why does everybody care so much about pancakes? Here we eat pancakes once a year, yet we still have an obesity problem. I don’t think it’s the pancakes…But you can’t make compliant pancakes. It’s not in the spirit of whole30. You can have mayo…Chicken and mayo wraps…
  • AND I STILL CAN’T FIND OUT IF I CAN EAT CASSAVA..if anybody knows let me know. Thanks.

Sometimes I get the point. You have to have rules to follow. After all this is a 30 day plan that is supposed to help you find out what foods your body likes and what foods it doesn’t. But what if your body doesn’t like canola oil and you have to eat out all the time. Also, how do I know what oil a restaurant uses in its kitchen. Waiters get freaked out when I ask for salad without dressing instead of chips. Seriously. One waiter came back to the table four times because he was worried without chips my plate wouldn’t look ‘full’. Apparently the suggestion more salad didn’t really compute. Anyway, I am not going to eat anything I haven’t prepared for 30 days, or how will I know?

Interestingly, in the re-introduction phase- where you re-introduce things to see how your body copes, alcohol is the first thing. I don’t know if this is because it is what people have been missing the most, or that it is guaranteed to make you feel crap so you look back to the halcyon month where you felt great but had no friends and never went anywhere except the gym and the grocery store to read labels. Still, I think I will have a lot more label reading time available.

Although there are many scientific citations, this doesn’t comfort me. I love science, but I also know how badly it can be done. Citing a poor study, doesn’t in any way validate your argument. It makes you look stupid. On consideration, it makes you look stupid to me, but probably makes you look very clever to many people.

But. Here I am criticising. I haven’t even started. I think that is why I am doing it. If I am going to criticise then I should know what I am talking about. I don’t always follow this rule, but this time I will. Maybe it will change my life. Maybe I will lose a million pounds in a month. Maybe I will be a cranky bint and have weird dreams (recommended side effect in week 2).

Whatever. At least I will know.

PS If it does change my life, and I mention it more than once. Kill me.


Preparing to go Whole30: Spicy Paprika Meatballs

It has been a while since I blogged. This is mostly because I didn’t feel like I had anything I wanted to share, or perhaps I was ranting enough in real life that I didn’t need to rant on the internet. Today I am not ranting, although I have no doubt there will be plenty in the future, I am writing for me. I once read if you really want to do something, and you are not sure you can, then tell people. The fear of failure will drive you on when you really don’t want to. I don’t know if this is a positive or negative motivation, but it is worth a try.

So, from the 30 May to the 28 June I will only be consuming the following:

  • Meat
  • Seafood
  • Vegetables
  • Fruit
  • Eggs
  • COFFEE- coffee is allowed, which is fortunate

I think that pretty much sums it up. None of the following:

  • Grains
  • Gluten
  • Dairy
  • Soy
  • Alcohol
  • Sugar (except what exists in fruit already)

Why am I doing this? I don’t really know. I feel like I need a real change in what I am eating. Little things have been creeping in and around my usual diet and the treats are starting to become the norm. As a build up I have decided to incorporate more whole30 compliant recipes (I think they are anyway) into my daily diet and sharing those recipes here and there. I will also be sharing my thoughts as I go through it. Probably.

So today I made paprika pork meatballs in spicy tomato sauce.

For two portions I used:

250g pork mince mixed with 2 tsps. of sweet smoked paprika and 1/2 egg. Make into little balls and pan fry in coconut oil until crispy on both sides. Put on a plate.

Then add about 250ml water to the pan. It will fizz and steam a little spectacularly, but it will also deglaze the pan. Usually I would use red wine, but no alcohol remember.

Add to the pan

  • 1/2 sliced red onion,
  • 1 cubed red pepper,
  • 1/2 cubed sweet potato
  • 1 tin of chopped tomatoes
  • 1 tsp. each of smoked paprika, cumin, garlic granules and dried chilli flakes

Put the meatballs back in the pan and cover with a lid (leaving a small gap so steam can escape). Leave for about twenty minutes.

Put half into a bowl and top with avocado. And Bob is your mother’s brother.