Preparing to go Whole30: WTF am I doing?

Ok. Since yesterday I have read more about the Whole30 plan. It has raised some questions.

  • You are allowed paleo wraps but not paleo bread?
  • Sometimes ‘we just have to draw the line’?
  • You can make whole30 mayo but not whole30 coffee creamer? Actually I don’t give a fuck about this one because I drink my coffee black anyway, but I do wonder why.
  • You can eat canola oil at a restaurant but not at home, but one slip in another area means you have to start again…day 1..right back there…
  • Why does everybody care so much about pancakes? Here we eat pancakes once a year, yet we still have an obesity problem. I don’t think it’s the pancakes…But you can’t make compliant pancakes. It’s not in the spirit of whole30. You can have mayo…Chicken and mayo wraps…
  • AND I STILL CAN’T FIND OUT IF I CAN EAT CASSAVA..if anybody knows let me know. Thanks.

Sometimes I get the point. You have to have rules to follow. After all this is a 30 day plan that is supposed to help you find out what foods your body likes and what foods it doesn’t. But what if your body doesn’t like canola oil and you have to eat out all the time. Also, how do I know what oil a restaurant uses in its kitchen. Waiters get freaked out when I ask for salad without dressing instead of chips. Seriously. One waiter came back to the table four times because he was worried without chips my plate wouldn’t look ‘full’. Apparently the suggestion more salad didn’t really compute. Anyway, I am not going to eat anything I haven’t prepared for 30 days, or how will I know?

Interestingly, in the re-introduction phase- where you re-introduce things to see how your body copes, alcohol is the first thing. I don’t know if this is because it is what people have been missing the most, or that it is guaranteed to make you feel crap so you look back to the halcyon month where you felt great but had no friends and never went anywhere except the gym and the grocery store to read labels. Still, I think I will have a lot more label reading time available.

Although there are many scientific citations, this doesn’t comfort me. I love science, but I also know how badly it can be done. Citing a poor study, doesn’t in any way validate your argument. It makes you look stupid. On consideration, it makes you look stupid to me, but probably makes you look very clever to many people.

But. Here I am criticising. I haven’t even started. I think that is why I am doing it. If I am going to criticise then I should know what I am talking about. I don’t always follow this rule, but this time I will. Maybe it will change my life. Maybe I will lose a million pounds in a month. Maybe I will be a cranky bint and have weird dreams (recommended side effect in week 2).

Whatever. At least I will know.

PS If it does change my life, and I mention it more than once. Kill me.

 

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