Good morning. It is a good morning because I am on holiday from work so I can stay in bed. And I really feel rather under the weather. I don’t think this has anything to do with whole30, more to do with the hacking cough that makes me sound like a combination of the hound of the baskervilles choking to death and someone stuffed a weasel down my throat. And the weasel is desperate to escape. Also, my chest hurts, which is probably related to the coughing thing. The cough started on Saturday which is before whole30 started therefore no causal relationship can possibly be established. It is however, definitely a causal factor in my lack of sleep. The cough, not whole30. For someone who blogs, I really should think about expressing myself more clearly, but you are getting stream of consciousness, so…and this is probably more for me to write than others to read. As an aside, should you edit stream of consciousness, or leave it in its subjective glory?
One thing I have noticed is that I have started to be much more ‘in the moment’ as well as much more ‘in bed’. For quite a long time now, I have found it quite difficult to focus on one thing, for example, to watch a film without also reading a book and checking my phone every 20 seconds, wandering around every few minutes like a restless flea on amphetamine. But it occurred to me yesterday, as I turned off my kindle to watch the first episode of Z (Zelda Fitzgerald played by Christina Ricci! Pefect!) that I was actually going to sit and focus. Ok, there could be several reasons for this.
- I have loved Christina Ricci since I wanted to be Wednesday in the Addams Family, and Zelda Fitzgerald is fascinating, tragic and a potent symbol of woman as Mad, Bad and Sad (see Lisa Appignanesi’s brilliant book).
- I was physically tired from the gym and stuffed full of food- neither of which make jumping around as though all the ants are in your pants appealing.
- I promised myself I was only going to watch one episode. This is my new thing. I have binged on lots of series, as is de rigueur these days, but I have never ever finished one. I accept that this might be because I am up to series 3 and everybody else is on series 11.
But I also find I watch so much that I get bored of the concept and the characters. I need to go old school. I need to go back to anticipating what is going to happen, to delayed gratification. I want to be excited about what is going to come next, and not watch until my eyes are closed and my thought process is, oh for fuck’s sake get on with it. This last comment particularly applies to How I Met Your Mother. Seriously, how long can they long out this premise. Who cares about who Ted meets anymore? It’s not going to be the mother. Anyway, I digress. Being in the moment. I did check my phone a few times, but I also focused. I watched and I enjoyed. If I can do that with tv maybe I can do it in real life too. Deep stuff just from giving up gluten. I suspect it’s more to do with giving up alcohol though.
So I started by telling you I was staying in bed. I am. But I weaselled in on ‘being in the moment’. A small part of me thinks I might be being a wanker for writing about it- next I’ll be telling you how mindfulness is key to success and cutting gluten from my diet literally saved my life, but that is another post.