I woke up at about 5.30am today. Went back to sleep…sort of. Gave up at 6.00am and got up and started the day. Admittedly starting the day just meant making coffee and getting back into bed, but it was started. That’s how I always start my day, but usually under protest. Not this morning, this morning I was happy to be alive. I had a whole day!
Well that lasted until about 3.00pm. And it’s been downhill since then. I had lunch which was delicious- chicken thighs pan fried in ghee (see nomnompaleo crackling chicken for the recipe). Although I am assured these are compliant and they were delicious, they still left me with that slightly depressed ‘junk food’ hangover. I really like them, but I don’t think I’ll do them again in the same way. Secondly, it is day 13 and I feel fat. Clothes don’t seem any loser, my stomach seems bloated and I have that heavy feeling. It might be a physical ‘junk food’ hangover after the fried chicken, but it is discouraging. I know there are 17 days still to go (oh god how I know), but I was sort of hoping for a bit more.
The good things:
- I have more energy;
- I have worked out harder;
- I am awake early;
- I have tried new recipes;
- I am in bed much earlier…around 9pm so no wonder I am awake earlier;
- I have a hacking cough from hell so I can’t cardio (this might be why I feel ‘fat’);
- I am so bored of drinking water, fizzy water, herbal tea (for the record most herbal tea tastes like fermented grass and is horrible);
- I feel quite isolated- the online shit and approbation from strangers doesn’t really make up for going out with good friends and enjoying food and wine together. I don’t care what whole30 say about being allowed canola oil when you go out, it is fucking impossible to remain compliant;
- There are 17 days to go….
So today I am not really happy with my decision to do 30 days. I am not feeling the boundless energy and optimism, or self-efficacy or pride in my ‘acheivement’. I am feeling pissed off, grumpy, fat and I want a glass of cold sauvignon blanc while I sit on the sofa and watch Zombeaver- yes that’s right- a film about zombie river rodents.